Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
bring money and cleavage
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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