can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
