life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
