Already got asked if we're dating
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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