he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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