Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
