Can Purell be used as lube?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
