I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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