i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
