im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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