walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
