don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Who died my cat blue again?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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