Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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