So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
