Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
