Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dicks are not precious.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
