the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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