she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
