what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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