if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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