I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
