Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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