the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
