I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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