Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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