We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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