My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
