I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
