She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
