He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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