the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
