before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
