Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
