This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
