Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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