There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
