so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
