this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
