Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
