I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
