...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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