Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
