Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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