if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
