i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
