He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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