I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
