All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
