That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
