He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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