We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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