So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You took a bar mat shot.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
