ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
